Teenage Pop Sluts, Part 2

I've received some emails about my recent post, Teenage Pop Sluts, and wanted to respond. The comments seemed to run one of two ways: 1) You're absolutely right about the trend, and the church needs to wake up and respond to how culture is shaping our children; or 2) You are overstating the case and have no idea what you're talking about.

I remember a conversation I had with a good friend a few years ago. We were talking about his teenage son, who was attending a "classical Christian" school in the area, and I made the comment that his son's primary cultural influences were no longer his parents or his family. My friend loudly protested, even pulling out Bible verses (such as "train up a child in the way he should go...") to make his case that his son was on the straight and narrow and that nothing would pull him off. He and his wife had done all the right things! Home school, Christian school, monitoring their TV viewing, limiting their use of the Internet, etc. To his credit, a few days later my friend came back to me and admitted that I was right: his son was profoundly influenced by his peers. And just because he went to a "classical Christian" school didn't mean that the influences were all positive. Quite the contrary. The discussions, the music, the movies, etc. that his son was privy to - outside the hearing and direction of his parents - were quite corrosive.

So why have I even raised this issue? An excellent question. My concern is not really about the culture at large, other than to observe what's happening. My concern is with the church and the hordes of parents therein that have no idea what their children are exposed to, let alone teaching their children how to deal with it and identifying the dangers. But no one should mistake me for saying that we all need to become Amish. As an aside, in the state of Ohio, where I'm at, the Amish have the highest rate of illegitimacy of any demographic group in the state; the culture of isolation doesn't work. I think that Christians should be raising culturally savvy children, children who are actively engaging and critiquing the culture, who understand what's going on. The problem isn't with the children. The problem is with the parents.

I remember showing the Merchants of Cool video I referenced in my earlier post to a group of parents in our church. After the viewing the video, it was immediately clear that most of the parents didn't think that it really applied to their children. And when I think of the families that were of that mind, and where their children have headed in the years since, I have to shake my head in disbelief. I think the fundamental problem today is that parents forget that their children are being raised in a vastly different culture than they were raised in. The cultural starting point our children are born to was radically different than our own. The slippery cultural slope means that changes occur much more rapidly today than when we were growing up. As the Merchants of Cool video demonstrates, most of the cultural shift is directed at teens today. And that culture shifts rapidly. We see throw-away trends, when as soon as something is popular, it is no longer cool. The cool kids are then chasing some other trend. This is the downward death spiral of culture that increases speed the further you fall.

When will the church finally get it? The simple answer is, when our church leaders finally get it and begin to do something about it. Honestly, I'm not holding my breath. In many cases, it is our church leaders who are the most insulated and clueless among us. I remember many years ago having a youth pastor tell me that the youth ministry would be doing much better if it weren't for the pastor's kids. How many of us can relate?

I also think one of the other major problems is that many parents in the church have been taught that parents are autonomous and are free from any outside criticism. The homeschool cult has helped engender this kind of thinking. But in fact, when a child is baptized, the congregation is asked to make a covenantal vow to help the parents raise their children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. My experience has been, however, that when any mention is made to a parent in the church about the bad behavior of the children, the response is consistently, "mind your own damn business." Any honest observer would have to agree with me. I can't remember ever hearing of a case of a church officer being removed for the conduct of his family, which is of course one of the qualifications for deacon or elder. Preach that from your pulpit sometime and see what kind of response you get.

In closing, for those who are still skeptical about my outlook on culture, take a look at this AP report from this morning's wires: Teen Abducted Children for Demonic Ritual. Maybe you think that these incidents are extremely rare. Could be, but the police detectives that track this stuff are seeing an exponential rise in these kind of cases. But I think what is important in the report, at least for the purposes of this post, is the reaction of the indicted teen's grandfather:

His grandfather, Julian Rodriguez, called the accusations "ridiculous." He said his grandson was a "good kid."

This is a classic example of the "head-in-the-hole" parenting I'm talking about, but it also a great example of the relativism in our culture. Now this teen was intending to cut a pentagram into the chest of this young girl. And yet he is still a "good kid". Do you think your children are "good kids" and wouldn't do anything like this? We should all be more mindful of the implications of the doctrine of radical depravity. Every parent whose child has committed acts of unspeakable brutality probably thought their children couldn't do it either. Think Littleton. Think Jonesboro. To think otherwise is foolish and potentially deadly. Parents must begin to understand cultural trends and how their children are driven by them. The future success of the Gospel in the next generation depends on such.